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by Toni Star
Everyday, like it or not, we make choices. Some choices are easy: getting up in the morning and making breakfast, taking or not taking a shower, eating at a fast food restaurant or eating at home or buying something we like but don’t need, like a new dress or suit.
Some choices; however, are hard such as: finding a job, leaving a job one can’t stand, finding a good friend or ending a sick marriage. Such choices as speaking or not speaking to someone who is annoying and rude or listening to a child who is confused and is heading toward a dark way, when feeling worn out—choices that feel the hardest. For it is the psychological choices—those of mind and spirit that cause such distress and concern for many. But it is such choices, choices that are done with care, that bring about positive, life-changing results.
I wonder, what makes some choices easier than others? Is it because we want something or someone so bad that the decision to choose becomes easier; while other choices demand a decision soon, with resulting outcomes vague or questionable--thus making the decisions harder?
When should choices be made? Soon? Later, after careful consideration? It’s true that some decisions need to be made soon—such as a needed dental or Dr. visit. But other choices can be made later—such as buying a new dress or suit—(unless it is needed right away—or looking for a new car, apartment or computer—(unless again, it’s necessary to purchase these items soon for health and a better livelihood.)
Then I pondered, why are choices so important to everyone?
I think that choices are important because they help build character, for once a decision or choice is made—it can affect a person’s life in either a positive or negative way? A good example would be choosing between going back to college or staying in a job that is going nowhere. Everyone knows that college can be difficult and scary for someone older than 30. But, once that decision has been made to return to school, so much good can come from it…such as networking with others who are in similar work areas, getting an education that will help further one’s job and socializing with others who are working toward the same goal.
Choices can also affect one’s physical health, such as eating the right kinds of food, exercising or taking medications that help. What about mental health? Aren’t there times when one needs to choose/seek help for oneself or another? And if that choice is not made to get mental help when needed, mightn’t the condition worsen and bring on more problems for the person going through it, along with family members and friends?
Where are choices made and where do good or bad choices lead us? Some bad choices might lead us to overeat—thus affect our health in a negative way…Other bad choices may lead us to drink too much, take drugs, watch violent or too sexy movies or be mean with our families….Where choices are made is relevant to how those choices turn out. Making a choice in a bar will most likely lead to further problems, while making a choice in the comfort and serenity of one’s home, will often lead to a more positive and happy outcome.
Who is capable of making choices? Of course, you and I --all of us are capable of making choices but it depends on the quality of time we spend on doing it and the reasons for them--- that is what makes the difference. Just think how confusing and dangerous the world would be for all of us if no one took responsibility or time to make good choices? Why no one would get anywhere or do anything….Nothing would get done…We would all be in a vegetative, holding state…Flying a plane, boarding a bus, driving a car or getting help from a physician would all be disastrous and hazardous to one’s health.
How can you and I make good choices—the kind that are life-affirming? I offer the following suggestions:
- First, define the situation that needs a choice
- Be objective. What is the best way to make a decision in this case? Do you need to make a choice or should you move on?
- Evaluate the steps needed to make a good choice.
- Then take action!
- In addition, step back for a few minutes and ask yourself, “Am I happy with what I did?”
- If you feel satisfied, move on. If not, go back and correct the choice that was made.
- Lastly, learn from the good or bad choice you just made…Next time that choice will go better.
It seems that choices are more important than I first realized. Actually, choices ---bad or good--can end up creating either a wonderful and happy life or a mediocre and sad life. So, before you make a decision that’s critical to your life’s goals and happiness….stop, think and then make the “right” choice for your life!
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